Darkness Before The Dawn
by B5alleycat
Summary: John Sheridan's debt is paid in full. This is something, not quite what I'd call a story due to it being so short, I wrote a while ago because to me Sheridan's death sentence was just too unfair.


**Darkness Before The Dawn**

**Disclamer: **I don't own them and hope this wasn't too painful for them. I think this is close to the story they wanted to tell. No names have been left out to protect the innocent, because let's face it, who among us is innocent? This is not agreat work of art, so please don't sue me and don't take offense because I have borrowed a few old friends. B5 and all characters trademarks and anything else to do with the show was owned by Warner Brothers, last I heard. I don't own Bruce either, but I wouldn't mind borrowing him every now and then. I would give him back eventually.

Authoress' notes and Summary: This story is for Boobrat, aka, Sarah. She asked me for something, that the characters didn't want to talk about, but they hoped this would do instead. I told you I had an ideal. This wasn't it though, but since that didn't work out, here is what made it's way to print. I also need to say this ideal, while it has always bothered me that I could not find a way to keep John from dying, I had given up on it but reading Lynda's story "Where Vorlon's Dream", gave me this ideal"

The first part is a conversation between Delenn and John. What I believe happened in that hallway before he left home that Sunday morning, in Sleeping in the Light. The last part is John and Lorien talking. Delenn's lines are in red and underlined. John's lines are bold and in blue and Lorien's lines are in purple and Italics, so if your computer can't see the colors maybe it can see the difference that way.

This is a short piece. It was not meant to win a fanfic award or be Earthshattering. It is submitted to you as a piece of dribble that came cross my grey matter. I hope you enjoy it. If you feel the need to point out what you didn't like, you can tell me about it publicly or privately at b5alleycat@yahoo.com . I didn't have this beta'd as I didn't write this to be a real fanfic, just as something for MP so she will stop beating on my head to wake my characters up, and BL so she will stop threating to go hunting for them and for all the other ladies, who have gently, (put away the electric cattle prods) encouraged me to write something. I have done that now. This should get me off the hook for a few weeks.

My heart made me cry out, "Don't go". 

His conscious made him respond, **"But I must. I made a deal a long time ago and now, I have no choice but to uphold that bargain.**"

I could see it was breaking his heart to turn his back on me and walk away, yet love would not let me relinquish him without a fight. "You promised me you would never leave me" was my parting remark to him.

**"All that is important of me never will, only this tired empty shell. My love, my spirit, my soul belong to you. Not even Death can change that."**

"But how am I supposed to live the rest of my life without you? How do I get up each morning, knowing I will never look upon your handsome face again?"

**" You do it for our son, David. He needs your love and guidance still. David is not emotionally ready to lose both his parents. And then, you should remember our other baby, the Alliance needs you. I am counting on you to keep it going strong. It is the epitome of my life's work. Do your best to not let it fail. If you do that, my life, and death will have had value. Live on for me, Delenn. I don't know what I am going to face, at the very end. Lorien didn't tell me what Lies ahead, and Kosh's message... well you know how vague he could be. The only thing giving me courage to make this journey is knowing my wife and son, Valen willing, will have long, productive, happy lives. Finally my love, live well for yourself. You are a wonderful person, the light of my universe. Whenever darkness threatened to engulf me, the brilliance of your love lit a path for me to follow. You deserve to be happy, sweetheart, Don't ever forget that."**

Everything that needed to be said, had been said. No words would change the reality that he was leaving, so I let him walk away. The silent conversation between our hearts was finished.

**With a heavy heart, I boarded a Whitestar and headed toward my final destination- Coriana 6.**

John was the only passenger on the Whitestar that day, yet he did not make the journey alone, because he took a large piece of my heart and soul with him. Without him by my side, my life will slowly ebb away, until my body is sent to the sea and my soul joins his, where no shadows fall.

**"On my way to face my destiny, I took a little side trip, to see my second 'best girl' Babylon 5. I couldn't leave this world, without seeing her one last time. That old station and I went through a lot together: The good times; The bad times; The sad times; The happy times, including two of the most important events in my life, when Delenn agreed to marry me and when I found out she was going to have my baby. As I stood in those Hallowed halls, the memories of days past spent on that space station, began to flow like a gentle river. I began to feel my body getting weaker and I knew it was time to go. As I re-boarded the white star, one last memory made it's presence known, in my mind. It was the memory of the last time I left Babylon 5 'for good'. Things were different then, not only did I know if I ever started to miss the place, it was only a few days away at 'best' speed, but that time I had Delenn there to help ease the pain of saying goodbye to an old friend. And this was goodbye. The final act for both of our lives. I would simply cease to exist and thanks to an Earthforce edict, after a decommissioning ceremony, so would Babylon 5. I fought them back, but the tears began to flow once again as I saluted a final goodbye to a grand old lady. **

**The rest of my journey was long and arduous. It seemed like the closer I got to Coriana 6, the frailer my body became. When I finally arrived at the planet, I was no longer able to even get out of my chair. My eye lids began to become so heavy, I could hardly keep them open. Each breath I managed to drag into my body was a taxing chore. I was able to lift my head far enough to check the life support system and the gage showed that it was working properly. That plus the fact that I was clear headed, made me realize that my respiratory distress and fatigue weren't from lack of oxygen to the cockpit, but from my body making preparations for it's final shutdown. It was time for me to face the reality that I, John J. Sheridan, was dying. I said a final goodbye in my heart, to my family. The last image that filled my mind, as my eyes began to close forever, was of Delenn sitting in a rocking chair, holding David as a toddler, singing a Minbari lullaby as she gently rocked him to sleep. **

_My heart made me cry out, "Don't surrender to death this time, John. It is not right! The fact that you were willing to honor the contract you made with the universe all those years ago and that she let you go, is all that shall be required of you. Once again you were willing to die, all by yourself, without notoriety, without monetary gain, without any kind of personal reward. The two of you have sacrificed enough. You have passed the Universe's test and proven you two are worthy of all the happiness this world can give. I have beseeched the great Creator on your behalf, to mark this debt paid in full. Go back to your wife and son Sheridan. Live a happy life and when you have doubts about whether you have made a difference, remember this day. You have done well John Sheridan. It is enough."_

**My body began to feel stronger than it had felt in years. I was no longer the tired, broken-down old man who arrived at this place. My eyes were now open fully and breathing was no longer diffucult. I looked upon the face of the oldest of the first ones and was amazed to see him shed a tear. I knew he cared about the younger races from the time I spent with him all those years ago, during the shadow war, but to see him shed a tear for me, was overwhelming. I choked out an inadequate "thank you". It was all I could think to say, at the moment. He had just given me the greatest gift, a person could receive, the gift of life. No words could truly express my gratitude at that moment**. 

_"You're welcome, John. This is the way it should be. The universe has decreed it is too soon, for your path to diverge from your soul mates. There is still much left for the two of you to do. It is not a warrior's fight this time though. You are charged this time, with being a shining beacon of love, elightenment and hope. You have been given back a life span that you were always destined to have, had you not gone to Zha' dum. You and Delenn will be an example to all the races of the miracles that love can accomplish. Through your teachings, even greater strides will be made in interstellar peace. Your life will have it's ups and downs, but if you continue to love and trust each other, you will weather the storms and your relationship will continue to grow stronger. Ten generations from now, that love will guide you line of descendants through the darkness and help them follow the path of the light. I will see you again, John, but not for many of your years. Until then, my friend, be well. _

**With those words, he was gone. I was still a little in shock from what had happened. It was hard to believe that I was not dreaming, but I knew in my heart, that it was all real. I turned the Whitestar around and set a course for Minbar. I was determined to spend each day of my life, embracing the gift the universe had seen fit to bestow upon me. As I speeded back toward the planet I had called my home for almost 18 years, my mind filled with thoughts of all the things I wanted to do with my life now that I had the chance. The most important one, was spend time with my family. My heart was filled with gladness as I said to the empty cockpit around me hoping that some how the love of my life could feel my words, back on Minbar, "Hold on Delenn, I'm coming home."**

THE END

B5ALLEYCAT


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